Graduated.

I can’t believe that I did it. I made it through college. Most people feel as though when they turn 21, they become an adult. But I think it’s when you get your degree and realize that you have completed something that you have prepared for since 5 years old, you truly are an adult. No more papers, no more exams, no more late night study sessions, no more early morning classes. When I think about everything I’ve gone through these past four years, it is truly amazing that I made it. Some question whether college is right for them. I don’t know where I would be without the college experience. I’ve learned so much and have grown so much as a person, that I wouldn’t trade the experience for the world. I’m also glad that I went to a school far away from home. I gained a greater sense of independence and it got me out of the small town bubble of New Orleans. I got to travel and see the world. I’ve accomplished things and seen things that most people will never do or see in their whole lives. I am so extremely lucky that I have parents that have a “where there’s a will there’s a way” mentality. Though we’re not the wealthiest of people, we know how to make do with what we have and make it worth our while.

I’ve also have a greater sense of self worth. These four years I’ve allowed myself to be used and stepped on. It really made me question my worthiness and existence in general. But it’s like the saying goes…”what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.” And boy, am I strong now. I know that I’m worth a lot more than I give myself credit for. I’m driven, I’m extremely intelligent, I’m wise beyond my years, I am beautiful, and I have a caring heart. Too often I give too much of myself to others. But now that I’ve learned from the mistakes I’ve made in the past due to naïveté, I’m constantly in self preservation mode. I refuse to be hurt. I am no longer weak. Watch out. I’m more focused than I ever have been in the past. This steam train is on the way and isn’t slowing down anytime soon.

Smirks Smirks and more Smirks

I've deleted the years worth of texts, emails, and photos.

Mother gave words of encouragement (Yes, they will be lining up and beating down my door ;-) )

I wrote the epic poem.

Oh, and I'm pawning the diamonds.

*Sighs* I feel better.

Flight of a Too Trusting Butterfly...

Through the window where the Darling children dreamed,
Of movie stardom, showbiz, and all Hollywood things,
A shadow crept along the floor and into her bed,
And next to her is where he gently laid his head.
She was awaken to a interesting shadow,
and a noise from a boy climbing through her window.
He was a small little thing with a bit of a fro,
who flashed a smile while standing akimbo,
"Have you seen my shadow? Oh, I'm Peter Pan,
I am not from this world, I am a martian."
She giggled to herself because she found him a bit corny
But he appealed to her'cause he seemed quite artsy.
He needed help getting his shadow back
And a way to keep his foot and shadow intact.
She found it hard to sew the shadow to his foot,
His kept shaking his leg, it wouldn't stay put
He said "Do you want to see space up in the sky?
Smoke this weed and you can fly."
Red was now the color in his eyes
surrounding the shade of hazel, he was so high.
In and out the bellowing smoke went
And low and behold he began to ascent,
"Think happy thoughts" is all she had to do
to fly with the stoner and see space too.
He said, "Come butterfly and take my hand,
we're going to space to my never neverland."
She was nervous to travel with this strange boy
He seemed to have the power to bring joy or destroy.
Some didn't approve of Pan choosing her
So they had to dodge "hater meteors."
She's brought to a world she doesn't quite understand
So tighter becomes the grip to his hand
It's a lax world filled with weed and childish toys
And there she was introduced to the Lost Boys
A stoner, an unsure boyfriend, and a lovable joker,
nonetheless they all welcomed and embraced her.
All around the land they greeted and adored her
and was happy for Peter Pan and their newfound sister.
However while she was there, she heard about Pan's past
and of the other "sisters" that didnt last,
his obsession with wolverine from x-men comic books
and the back and forth relationship with Captain Hook
The air leaves the room when the name is uttered
for Hook was once a "sister."
The Boys take a liking to their new family member
and would be cool is she stayed forever.
She tries to help Peter not to feel so lost
He jokingly says "Ok you're the boss"
Mesmerized by the beauty of the butterfly,
He promises to keep his feet on the ground and not get high.
She magically takes away his headaches and calms him down
He starts to smile more and away goes the frowns.
Months go by and plans were being made to leave Neverland forever
Pan got cold feet about growing up and disappeared however.
The pull of the game fighting with Hook was just too strong,
She was now a choice that was deemed wrong.
Her love and support was not enough to get him to change
He would rather smoke and go back to the back and forth Hook slashing each other game.
The boys were really confused and before long
she was no longer at neverland, she was gone.
The boys prayed for Pan that he would get his life on track
But they said this not to him, but behind his back.
She felt like before she left, she needed to tell him to make a plan
or he would forever be a boy and never leave neverland.
A break was needed to look at each other with new eyes
After they combed through all the deceit and lies.
Just when they were reconnecting he was becoming adult Peter Pan
She was suddenly ultimately banned.
He removed her from his life and back to his old ways
to play once again in Hook's and his back and forth childish games.

In this Neverland world is where they all stay
As the slightly slashed butterfly flies away.
Back in her bed, she awakes letting out a loud scream,
It was a horrible night terror, one of those debilitating dreams.
She wipes the tears from her face and is thankful that its over,
For its seems Neverland was quite traumatic for her.
She can only laugh off the thoughts of the Lost Boys, Hook, and the infamous Peter Pan
She could never stay with a boy in that world, she needs a MAN.
she takes a deep breather, gets out of her bed, and drinks a tall glass of water
Back to thoughts of stardom, hollywood and performing on the stage in large theaters.




Consider this closure.
-D

I'm afraid of heights...

Enough with this rollercoaster, I'm getting off this ride.

Poetry soon.

-D.