I'M GOING TO LOSE IT

I swear to God I'm going to fucking lose it! I'm absolutely miserable here. I feel like a fucking prisoner. My face is all broken out from stress, I'm not sleeping, and I feel like I'm going to die. Everyday is a screaming match with my father and a sea of uncomfortableness with my stepmom. I lost my job a couple of weeks ago because my position was removed by the owners so every day I sit at home and just watch tv and get fat of course. Living here is killing all the remaining respect I had my father and I am becoming more and more enraged. He doesnt under me...something's gotta give or else I'm going to lose it!

Unemployment.

These past couple weeks have been pretty rough just because I've been bored and uninspired. I guess that translates into falling into a depression because the cosmic forces seem to be pushing signs my way that to the world, I seem depressed. And I guess it's true. At this point I've seemed to subconsciously pushing people away and alienating myself. I guess it's because I feel stifled creatively and self doubting this quest I'm on to essential be a movie star as retarded as that may sound. That's what it is though. I don't know. I just feel kind of stagnant right now. And a person to talk to or a best friend would really be nice right now. I'm hoping that my mother can provide some kind of comfort when she comes to town on Wednesday. Honestly, I'm not really trying to find a job right now until I spend time with my mom. I got enough money in the bank right now to just coast right now if I don't do any lavish spending. *Sighs* Just rambling now, think I'm gonna try to draw something now. Out.