Roll with the punches...

So this week I've been feeling a bit weird because I've been trying to get my life in order. I've decided to get healthy: physically and emotionally. That means actually taking care of acknowledging and addressing the fact that I have a disease that needs to be managed for me to live. It's gonna be a challenge for me because my career and even my current job requires me to look "attractive" (whatever that means) and getting healthy means my bodys going to change. Hopefully I won't have to live in a state of dehydration. That also means gaining weight...something which is already happening. It isn't pleasant or fun carrying around extra weight cause it's tiring...and of course the whole not fitting in your clothes and constant critique by family isn't great either. It's been a real test to my self esteem.

Emotionally, I'm doing alright. I'm enjoying the new responsibilities I have at work. It's kinda stressful but it's good stress...makes me feel like I'm actually working towards something and not just working. Limited friends these days but for a good reason. Let's just say that i'm more selective of the friends I keep in my inner circle. I'm too young to carry resentment and work on old soiled friendships when I can create new exciting ones. Some you should keep like Mr. Simmons or how I like to call him "old faithful" lol or Miss Teamers whose my "now and later" because we can either talk now or way later and we'd still pick up where we left off. But I'm excited about the new people I've met so far at work and the promise of more great connections to come. Especially when I eventually move to California! It's gonna be joyous...nice weather, new city, NEW people. it's gonna be great.

I just have to remind myself to keep looking forward and never look back. My past has too many pockets of darkness I can dwell in. I must remember that the last person to fuck me over will not be the last. I must remember that not all people have open hearts or tell the truth. I have to accept that not everyone has their shit together like I may have. And most importantly I must allow those kind good natured people into my life to be cherished.

Got a lot of shit to work on/sort out/let go, but that's just life post grad.