It's Twilight premiere time again and I'm in a totally different place in my life now. I had really enjoyed reading the books but I had somehow found this eerie parallel to the character of Bella. I had attached certain people in my life to the fictitious characters in the book, making it seem that my life was strangely identical the books. I was way too wrapped up in it all. Both the real life situation of my life and this fantasy quasi reality I had created for myself. You know hindsight is 20/20 and maybe that was my coping mechanism for the turmoil that was happening at the time.
It's just so strange to be at the point where I look at Twilight and it seems that some of it's magic has dimmed and I look at it for what it is now: just a movie. Something that I treasured and identified with so much, seems a little foreign. It's like seeing an old friend you haven't seen in years. You catch up, hear each other's stories...try to recreate that friendship you once had but you realize too much time has passed and both of you have changed. Yet you continue to small talk because at one point, you were close. So out of of respect and familiarity you keep talking. That's where I am.
I guess you can say it's because I finally got a good guy that I don't need to create a fantasy life for because he treats me well in my reality. In our reality. I'm still working on myself but that's a never ending project. The difference is my guy lifts me, doesn't tear me down, and calls me "his queen." Never new what it was like to be royalty...was always the hired help. Got to get accustomed to having help. What a wonderful problem to have :)
Anyways..going to see the movie at midnight with the cousin...and for once, instead of fantasizing, I can actually just enjoy the movie for enjoyment's sake. :)
-OUT
No comments:
Post a Comment