I guess today was better?

Last night I didn't get much sleep. For some reason I didn't want to sleep. Usually I don't have this problem because I'm an insomniac and don't have a decision in the matter of not sleeping. But last night was different. I was tired but I made the decision to stay up. After reaching 7 am however, I was defeated and crawled in bed. I wish I hadn't. I dreamt that I was trying to off myself. It was only a two hour sleep before my alarm went off to start on yet another day in life.

Still had a lack of energy. Still was a walking zombie. However there was short sparks of light today. I learned that I was missed. This semester I hadn't be doing any other than taking class. No Rock Hard, no ALS, no Spit That...I guess you can say I've been ghost on campus. Well I went to the pub today to eat lunch and was surprised to find that people had actually noticed that I haven't been around. And just now right before I wrote this blog, my roommate just informed me that people were asking for me yet again. This brings a quiet smile to my face. It's the little things like that that make you feel like you have a purpose. Maybe if I left this world tomorrow, some people would notice.

They don't know it, but those people who asked for me today might have made the difference between me downing a bottle and waking up tomorrow. Which further makes me wonder:

Is someone up there trying to tell me something?

Just 4 pills before bed tonight.