Stifled

Have you ever gotten to the point where you just feel stifled? I feel as though someone just turned the faucet off on my creativity. I can't write. I can't paint. Everything just seems pointless...It's like a thirst that can't be quenched. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's a funk that I've never experienced before and I've been in some serious funks before. I just feel like BLAH. There's just no motivation to do anything. I feel like the days just melt into one another. I don't even know what fucking time or day it is right now. And when you're by yourself all the time, it starts to take a toll on you. I feel like I'm a prisoner to myself...trapped in a cell made of nothing. I need a fuckin change. Something's gotta change. New glasses given me a little bit of a constant headache while my eyes get used to looking through something foreign.

I wondering if I'm harboring some unaddressed issues or something. I feel an inkling of anger or some sort of inclination to want to yell right now. Or maybe it's my effort to try to fight this comatose state I'm in where I literally don't utter a sound all day. There's no reason to say anything when there's no one here and fuck if I start talking to myself...that's not cool. I'm just tired of everyone telling me to get out the house and go somewhere by myself and enjoy the day. Enjoy the day doing fucking what? Either way I'm still alone only now I've wasted gas and I'm lonely in a new location. What people don't understand about me is that I'm not a hermit. I don't revel in deep thinking alone. I'm a social private person meaning that I like to be social but I like my privacy. But privacy and solitude are two different things. I can't do the latter.

I'm rambling now but I mean what other option do I have. This is the most communication I've had all day and A. it's with a computer and B. I still have yet to utter a word.

-D