Ups and downs

So I was supposed to write this blog two days ago but yesterday my father made me so miserable that I didn't feel like writing. It's been a rough couple of months post grad. Things just haven't been moving as smoothly as I would have liked. Now that I'm jobless, time has just been moving so slowly. It wasn't so bad cause Ashton used to rescue me from my boredom but since he moved back to Georgia, I literally have no friends. Thought maybe I would get my best friend back but after being blown off for like 6 times in two weeks, I want nothing to do with her right now. And shit just keeps getting worse as far as living with my dad. And lastly, I'm losing my vision...can't see far anymore and now i have to wear glasses. For all u glasses-wearing folk, you're probably just thinking, "oh boo hoo, join the club" Well I wish that was the case but from someone who's had 20/20 vision all her life and now has diabetes, this is not good. Most diabetics go blind due to diabetes complications so I have to go back to my doctors to see if blood vessels aren't leaking. Now by now I know this blog is sounding more and more like a "woe is me" blog but there is little rays of sunshine.

This past week I just signed with an agent! Yay! And within the week I already got an audition. It was a fun one... For Louisiana lottery. I had to dance to a hip hop jingle haha. It was a fun audition to get my feet wet again. Then the day just got weirder. I went to visit my cousin Dana who was in town randomly with her boyfriend and brother and who walks in the door behind her? Delvin. I swear I almost had a heart attack in the bathroom. It was the first time I had seen him in about 5 years. It was awkward. He only looked up at me when I said hello and 30 minutes later when I said goodbye. I tried to play it cool, engaging in conversation with Dana and her new bf and her brother Kevin but in my head I was thinking all sorts of things...does he feel awkward too? Does he think I look good? Is he purposely ignoring me? Or does he feel fine? And all the vain questions us girls ask ourselves everyday about our appearance. It was hard for me when I left. I'm not gonna lie and say part of me doesn't want to see if there's something worth rekindling now that we're both adults. Nostalgia gets the best of me everytime I hear his name but actually SEEING him was almost too much. He looks exactly the same ha. And the fact that he JUST accepted me as a facebook friend this past month after months and years of denying or ignoring requests just makes the whole situation even more awkward and hilarious. Oh life is funny. These days it would be nice to have a companion or something because I swear my family is trying to break me.